GENERAL DISCUSSION » THOUGHT FOR TODAY.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Just looking out out the window and seeing it raining again got me to thinking that it is terrible weather for worms. If there is such a thing as climate change and we continue to have more rainfall how long is it likely to be till worms develop swim bladders and gills? Yes I know "what a load of nonsense"

A quote from the ongoing debate about introducing a minimum price per unit of booze.

Folk like a (cheap) drink, take that away and you may end up with a bigger problem on your hands....like a sober, alert & questioning electorate. Bad news for slack councils & governments!

I was visiting a neighbours house the other day. Just as i had left the heavens opened up. I instinctively tried to run to my house only five doors away. I managed about 3 or four steps then gasped for breath and went weak in my legs nearly landing in a heap on the floor!! Holding on to his fence i vowed to not do that again. I was soaked when i got back home to-boot.

ALL five of my heart attacks have occured in the morning, though three around 3 a.m. for some reason?

Life & Health

3/4 of people who have heart attacks, have them in the morning before lunchtime.

Hence if you're going to go for a run, you might be better to put it off until later in the afternoon or evening...

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on." Robert Bloch.

I can think of a third Surferboy and it has to do with premiership titles! Now doesn't that make you feel a little bit blue. Know what I mean son?

Excellent Lion. Why don't you put more of this sort of thing on site.

My thought for the day'

Only 2 things in life are certain.....death and taxes!

I received this recently and thought that it would be interesting for some of the older surfers amongst us. Turn the sound on while you watch!

Attachment: philosophy_for_old_age_georgecarlin.pps

Whale of a tale for couple yachting off Cape Town.

A couple on a whale-watching trip off Cape Town, South Africa, say they had a lucky escape when a 10m (33ft) specimen leapt on to their yacht.

The southern right whale, a species known for poor eyesight, snapped the mast before sliding back into the water, said Paloma Werner.

She and her partner had just seconds to take cover, she said. A nearby tourist caught the moment on camera.

"I still like whales," Ms Werner told the BBC afterwards.

The southern right whale navigates by sound, leading Ms Werner to suspect it was an accident.

"Our boat's engine was off and so the whale just didn't know we were there," she said.

"We were just the wrong boat, in the wrong place at the wrong time."

THERE IS A SHORT VIDEO CLIP OF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING. TO VIEW IT JUST CLICK THE UNDERLINED TITLE AT THE TOP OF THIS POST AND IT WILL TAKE YOU TO THE BBC PAGE THAT HAS THE CLIP.

The Battle of Britain lasted from early July to the end of October 1940. It pitted the planes, pilots and support staff of the largely untested Royal Air Force (RAF) against the experienced ranks of the German air force (Luftwaffe).

Germany's ruler Adolf Hitler knew that for a successful invasion of Britain to occur, he first needed to secure supremacy of the skies. As such the Battle of Britain became a fight not just between two rival air forces, but for the future survival of the UK, and by extension for democracy and freedom from fascist tyranny.

The stakes were huge, as were the risks needed to be taken by pilots and the suffering weathered by civilians.

But in the end, through a mix of guile, strength, pragmatism and good luck, Britain prevailed.

Looking at the state of Britain today was it all worth it?

I think the Young woman who started the Facebook thing has now withdrrawn it. In a way it reflects the many incidents of women writing to some of the worst killers in prison and actually developing relationships. It happens not just in this country and our Yorkshire Ripper who has just been told he will never leave prison has had his share of "admirers". As you say Surfer "some strange people"

Somebody opened up a "Facebook" page for Moult which up to now as attracted 18,000 visitors leaving messages of sadness at his demise. There's some strange people in this country.

As usual the police seem to be coming in for flack about the way they handled the case but at least their prescence in enormous numbers possibly deterred him from killing more people. In the end I think it was a good outcome because if they had been forced to kill him there would probably have been a massive enquiry that would have cost even more and if they had been able to arrest him there would have been the cost of trial and imprisonment.

I expect that somewhere on the internet one or other of the human rights looneys has already written something like "They were wrong to hunt him down like an animal" Crazy world! 

Well the gunman shot himself but I wonder how much the police operation cost.

A lot of commentators on TV and radio are using the expression the "noughties" to cover the last decade, an expression I find very irritating. God only knows what they will dream up for the decade just started.

The 'zero's' does rhyme with zero inflation and zero pay rises though!

The 'tens' look ready to rhyme with ten percent reduction in our present standard of living to pay off the national debt and keep the bankers in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed!

Gawd, what a 'cheerful' comment i've put here ... sorry .

I was thinking about the way we refer to the decades that we live in. For instance we call them the "twenties" "thirties" etc through to the "nineties". But what should we call the first two decades of a century? The "zeroes" the "tens" it just doesn't work does it?

I've had my tooth ache since last October. My next appointment is on 28th July! STRESS ... that 'old lag' doesn't know the meaning of the word

Deputy Prime Minister: Nick Clegg
Rewarded with the vice-captaincy after becoming a household name thanks to confident displays in recent televised matches. Has shown willingness to play on the right, despite being more comfortable on the left.

Both Sparky and Beebie have been having problems with their teeth as you can read in our health discussion forum. i came across this appalling story in the news.

 TRIPLE KILLER WINS £44,000 FOR TOOTH ACHE.

 A NOTORIOUS triple murderer has won £44,500 damages — after claiming prison dentists failed to cure his TOOTHACHE. Michael Steele, serving life for the Essex Boys gangland killings, was handed the bumper payout after one of his fillings fell out at tough Belmarsh Prison in 1998.

  He moaned the resulting toothache kept him awake at night and caused him stress during the day.Category-A lag Steele, 68, complained he wasn't given proper treatment — despite REFUSING to see one prison dentist.

 In July last year, Judge Edward Bailey decided the Home Office had been "negligent" in failing to fix the killer's teeth.

Now doesn't that just make your blood boil?

Yes Surferboy and it always amazes me when I am watching Formula One motor racing the sometimes horrific smashes they have and the driver just walks away. What I find even more amazing is how they can often rebuild the car again overnight and have it racing the next day.

How about this for the ultimate "re-cycling" but is it a renewable or even green energy source?

Dead elephant turned into fuel An elephant given as a gift to the people of the former Yugoslavia has been turned into fuel.

The body of the creature – donated in 1970 by Indian prime minister Indira Gandhi as a symbol of peace – was sent to a factory to be processed into biodiesel after its death at 42.

However, the tusks – valued at £200,000 – will go on display at Brijuni National Park in Croatia, where the elephant, called Sony, lived.

‘We wanted to make sure we treated the remains with respect,’ said a spokesman for the park.

They build them cars well these days!

The driver walked away with a few bruises after this crash in America last weekend.

I wonder how many other parts of our planet still remain to be discovered and to provide images as stunning as this one.

A RARE GLIMPSE OF CAVE CRYSTALS

Mexico's Cave of Crystals stunned geologists when it was first discovered in 2000. The underground chamber contains some of the largest natural crystals ever found - some of the selenite structures have grown to more than 10m long. Professor Iain Stewart got a rare glimpse of the subterranean spectacle while filming for the new BBC series How the Earth Made Us.

This is from the BBC website and there is afascinating short video on the page that you can get to by clicking CRYSTALS

Surfer did you manage to get another appointment sorted out?

I have used the system before to book an appointment on-line and it has worked well for me. I suspect that the operator is the problem in your case SB.

I booked an appointment through the NHS system on Monday where you ring up  and are offered a choice of time , day and venue to suit you. My confirmation letter came yesterday with a different time a different day and a different venue on it to the one I agreed . What's the point of it all!

IS THIS THE UGLIEST CAT IN BRITAIN?

Eight-year-old Ugly Bertie was picked up by the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals last week.

When he was found, Bolton-born Bertie’s flea-filled fur was so matted he could barely walk, and vets had to shave off most of his hair.

I hope he makes a quick recovery, recovers his looks and finds a good home. Fez.

Sorry I went last week.

Yeah you're right Surfer I gave all mine to help with the Torrey Canyon spill but I'll bring my clippers to the next committee meeting and you can make a donation to the current cause!

Volunteers wanted to combat the oil spill. Sorry Fez but I don't think you can help with this one.

>CLICK HERE

I think this should really have gone in the "jokes and anecdotes" topic but it seemed to be more fitting as a thought for the day if you disregard the male chauvinism element. Did our great british empire really bring civilisation to the world?

A wise Indian Chief say..............

 Indian Chief `Two Eagles` was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You`ve seen his wars and technoligical advances. You`ve seen progress, and the damage he`s done."
The chief nodded in agreement. The official said, "Considering all these events, where did the whiteman go wrong?"

The chief stared at the government official and then calmly replied; "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.

"Women did all the work. Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing, all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. He added, "Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that."

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

BRING A HINT OF SPRING TO YOUR COMPUTER THANKS TO SALFORDONLINE

Click on the link below.
You will get a black page.
Click your mouse anywhere (& everywhere) on the page & see what happens!

Better yet, click (hold down) & drag your mouse over the black page...
Enjoy!!

SPRING

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Cry 'God for Harry, England and St George'   MANCHESTER  MANCHESTER is putting a parade of floats, bands and walking parties in Oldham Road, Piccadilly Gardens, Great Ancoats, Butler Street and Bradford Road. Visit manchesterlive.co.uk or call Manchester Visitor Information Centre on 0161 234 3157 The Last Orders Inn in Middleton will be holding their annual St George's Day Party, with proceeds going to the Help the Heroes charity.  Lancashire County Cricket Club in Old Trafford is hosting an afternoon of celebration with entertainer Pat Masterson tomorrow. The event will take place in the Gold Marquee at Old Trafford and tickets cost just £16 including a three course lunch and coffee. Start time is 12 noon. 

 >CLICK HERE

This is a short video clip that Lion took of a visit to Salford Heart Care.

Attachment: shc_video_clip_copy.wmv

Wise words as always George. I hope you can find time to make our next meeting.

Hi Surferboy,

Our Salford MP must get a point for `initiative`,as I am sure she would have logged on to our website prior to a visitation.

`Avoid confrontation` is the name of the game!.

Cheers George P.

Pictures from the SHC demonstration on 13th April 2010

Lion

Attachment: hos_shc_140410_2.jpg

I was dissapointed Hazel Blears failed to speak to us yesterday at the Heart Club to ask what we were about. I thought she took an interest in everything Salford and Eccles. A lost opportunity Hazel.

SALFORD BALLS
 Real Salford Men…What's important in your life?

Salford's men are more proud of their sperm count than driving a mint car or owning a posh house, according to a new survey.

The NGTD study delved into men's psyches and revealed that `Settling down with a partner' was top in importance, followed by `My appearance'. Third in the list was `Good sperm quality/sperm count' beating `Success at work', `Popularity with women' and `Having a healthy bank balance'. Bottom of the list was `Driving a nice car' and `Owning a property'…

Do we need her support?

It would show our disgust with her behaviour!

She has made her name one of ridicule.

Best not direct Hazel to these pages if she asks for a demonstration!

Dear (or should I say expensive) Hazel is my MP and I was looking forward with considerable enthusiasm to voting for anybody else but her on May 6th. However, because of boundary changes we will have a different candidate this time round and I am incensed. I am even thinking of moving so that I can vote against her.

Keep your hand on your wallet if you do SB!

Surferboy if you'd like to meet our Hazel she will be at Salford Heart Care on the 13th April, you could give her a hug!!

GENERAL ELECTION CALLED TODAY. HEAVEN' WE'LL SOON BE RID OF HAZEL BLEARS!

It's Easter coming up so how about that chocolate? Well here is a bit of advice from the medical community.

Small amounts of chocolate may help to prevent heart disease, but only if it replaces other energy-dense food. Dr Brian Buijsse, study author.

BUT CAN YOU STOP AT A SMALL AMOUNT?

That advert for 3 bird roast  for your Easter treat at Aldi's realy does make me feel I should be a vegetarian. Although we all eat chicken I find that stuffing one inside a duck then the two inside a turkey in extremely bad taste and a lack of respect to the poor things having to die to feed us.

They must get two weeks annual leave!

You do disappoint me lads. Here's the answer....

>CLICK HERE

Can you make some sort of alcohol out of it, a sort of thick vodka gruel? Yuk.

Depending on its' consistency you can use it instead of polyfilla - you can with mine anyway.

Alternatively use it for shepherds pie, in bubble and squeak or potato cakes.

Yes but you can get lost in a pea souper but not  a mashed potato. There is one thing you can do with mashed potato beside eating it.....answer????

While we are on the topic.

Why is pea soup more special than mashed potatoes?
Because anyone can mash potatoes.

Dare I say that the council may well have decided to provide such "public" urinals because of the vandalism and uses the toilets in Piccadilly have been put to in the past!

Gordon Bennet, what a mess Manchester Council have made of their once lovely gardens. What must anyone think of Mancunians on a Saturday night as well. Terrible idea. The public toilets should at least provide some screening to hide embarresment, for all concerned. Shame on the council. No excuse.

Have you not been to Piccadilly Gardens lately Sparky?

>CLICK HERE

At least our public toilets are mostly private. This picture is one in India, very public indeed, though the cyclist is at least wearing some clothes, which is more than can be said for that rally in Harogate!!!

I see what you mean Surferboy but most of the public loos I go in usually have at least one door with a broken lock, that is if there are any doors left at all. And that is anyway depending on whether you can find a public loo in the first place.

Keep fit and if you need the public loo but are short of change there's still a way to get in.

I don't count Solange because its a proper noun and won't be in the dictionary but I'll give you the Hurtle only just but not the fiver to rhyme with silver, try saying them or have you got a strange accent that makes it rhyme?

Solange...sister of Beyonce.

Solange Piaget Knowles (born June 24, 1986), who performs under the mononym Solange, is an American recording artist, actress, model, DJ and dancer.

Circle, hurtle, myrtle etc...are you sure you've got this question right?

Fiiver as in coins...

There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver or so I have just read.

I bet you can come up with some or some that should be in the dictionary but please keep them clean.

HERMITS HAVE NO PEER PRESSURE.

I got the front view Fez. The policeman that stopped us(I think he thought that as a more mature lady I might have been shocked)said I could cover my eyes. I said - No chance- I haven't had such a good laugh in years. We had a good laugh together but my daughter was quite shocked at my behaviour. And the decorations. There were necklaces everywhere. I agree with you though, some of them must have been very uncomforable but a lot of the seats were padded. It was a lovely warm day for them though so that must have been some consolation. There must have beentwo or three hundred.

Looking for a picture naked cycling seems to be very popular all over the world. Wouldn't fancy it myself Willow, it could be pretty uncomfortable if you got the wrong saddle. Whoops!

Last year when I was in York there was a naked bycyle ride. We got stuck right in the middle of it and I was driving. The police stopped us and I had to switch off the engine for 'elf 'n safety's sake. They all, men, women and children, rode straight towards us. I had my eyes open that day, I assure you. Some of those girls had massive boobs! The kids were amazed. Sadly, we didn't see them again. I never worked out what it was in aid of. 

In York, excluding sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow.

That used to be the law but it probably isn't still on the statute books, or is it.

Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad.
Norm Papernick

Food for Thought
If you ate pasta and then antipasti, would you still be as hungry as when you started?

WILLOW SENT THIS. I DON'T KNOW IF SHE WANTED IT POSTING ON HERE BUT HERE IT IS.

Crabby Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . . . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . when you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . . . . . not very wise,
Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice . . . . . the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . . . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . . . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . . . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . . . as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . . . . . with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . . with wings on his feet..
Dreaming that soon now . . . . . a lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . . my heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . .. that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . . . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . . . . have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . to see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . my wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . . . . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . . and nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . .. . . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . a young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . . gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . . . open and see.
Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer . . . see ME!!


Remember this poem when you next meet 

an older person who you might brush aside 

without looking at the young soul within. 

We will all, one day, be there, too!

Tilly sent us this one. Once again sorry to be late with it Tilly! It certainly rings some bells with me.

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE

1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's !


Firstly, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos. 

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.


Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.


We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.


As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.


We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.


Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds , KFC, Subway or Nandos.


Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!


We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.


We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Toffees, Gobstoppers, Bubble Gum and some bangers to blow up frogs with.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in them, but we weren't overweight because......


WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!


We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.


No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.


We would spend hours building our go-carts out of old prams and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and dens and played in river beds with matchbox cars.


We did not have Playstations, Nintendo Wii , X-boxes, no video games at all, no 999 channels on SKY ,  

no video/dvd  films,   

no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms...........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!



We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
Lawsuits from these accidents.



Only girls had pierced ears!



We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.



You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time...



We were given air guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays.



We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!



RUGBY and CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on  

MERIT 



Our teachers used to hit us with canes and gym shoes and bullies always ruled the playground at school.





The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!



Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like 'Kiora' and 'Blade' and 'Ridge' and 'Vanilla'

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO

DEAL WITH IT ALL !




And YOU are one of them!

CONGRATULATIONS!


You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.


And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.





PS -The big type is because your eyes are not too good at your age anymore

I see Hazel has herself the picture again, but i missed this one in the Advertiser!

THERE'S ALWAYS ONE!

I tried to get to Eccles yesterday but there were no buses running by me and this seems to be the case generally. For those of you reliant on public transport please click the following link for details of which bus services are running and there aren't very many.

BUS SERVICES You may have to be patient to make a connection using this link but if it doesn't connect first time please try it again, it is probably very busy!

Don't go out ........

You could just end up looking like this poor chap!

Don't go out wearing a white coat. Your likely to get run over cos the driver won't see you!

The easist way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement!

Famous New Year resolutions

Eve's List

• cut Adam's hair and trim his beard.
  

   

  
  


• sew some curtains for the hut and maybe make some throw-pillows
  

   

  
  


• ask God to make the sky a little bluer and the stars brighter


• check out that tree--the one with the talking snake at the bottom. The apples look tasty and we need more fruit in our diet.

Shakespeare's List

• ask Christopher Marlowe for more ideas like that one he gave me for 'Hamlet'. Bribe him with ale if necessary.
  

   

  
  


• write more serious copy--maybe get into the existential themes and all that.


• get new hosiery--all of mine have gapping holes in them and when I bend over in Richard III I get whistles from the gallery.


• 
  

  ask the Queen to lower the taxes on The Globe if I write her some sonnets. If the taxes get any higher we will have to consider having a concession stand and selling popcorn and soft drinks to make up the difference.

  
  

And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,
And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;
To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury -
Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
The regrets of remembrance to cozen,
And having obtained a New Trial of Time,
Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen.
~Thomas Hood

Thanks Fez for showing an interest.

As it happens the pain has subsided now, actually for almost a week! Christmas was not plagued by toothache after all. But this is unbeknown to my dentist, or GP. As far as they know i am still in a lot of pain!!! But what do they care, it is not their pain is it!

I'm still waiting for hospital appointment to sort it, and i would bet that it is close to April before the offending teeth are removed, given previous experience!

Long story ...... Again!!!! ... will post later so long as i don't bore anybody!

Good news though, new GP in pipeline, and unlike my GP at the moment, he does not model himself on Harold Shipman!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Sparky. I was just wondering how you went on with the toothache over Christmas? I hope you got some relief from it and that it didn't spoil your Xmas too much.

I put my bins out last Tuesday night for the Wednesday morning collection of the Blue paper and Black general waste bins. The black bin had only one bag in it plus a few 'bits'. The blue bin ws almost full of paper.

The bins were not emptied on the Wednesday.

Wednesday evening i notice that both bin lids wern't fully closed! Someone has over-filled my black bin with their waste! They have also over-filled my blue paper bin, with a mix of waste, not just paper.

Grrrrr ..... I now have my own waste bagged up in the porch, and rather smelly i might add, as my bins are now full!!!!!

Will the council empty my paper bin ... i'll have to wait and see! I feel another war with our caring council looming!

I doubt that Health and Safety would allow council employees to push gritters along icy pavements.

I expect the state of the roads will turn out to be the reason my bins weren't emptied this week and I read that the council will fine people up to a hundred pounds if the lid of the bin won't close. Can anyone tell me how to dispose of a another weeks waste if I can't bin it?

Sparky, the pavement gritters sound such a simple and probably not too expensive an item and would save many a personal injury from people falling. It seems to be clearing off the pavements a bit now but looking out the window most people are being forced to walk on the road which isn't a good compromise for pedestrians or drivers. I bet A+E have been busy the last few days.

I noticed on the news the other night a pavement gritting machine. It was the main news. The gritter was actually the same machine that we see sweeping the pavement just before the bins are collected??? (Silly organisation i think!)

Why can't Salford council convert some of theirs at this time of year?

Or even have some manual gritters like the one in the picture ....

What I have noticed this year is that even where the gritters are working the grit never seems to reach the pavements and help to keep them clear as is used to do, I wonder if they can adjust the way the spreader works and have to keep it reduced to avoid damage to cars parked at the curb.

One thing I am convinced of is that there will probably be a lot of old folk who won't venture out while it is like this and may go hungry if relatives or friends don't look out for them.

As for you, Meldrew and Sparky, slipping and the self esteem the first thing I do, by reaction, if I have any sort of mishap like that is look round in the hope that no one noticed and if they did pretend that I didn't hurt myself. Folk are silly aren't they. Anyway I'm glad you two are not much the worst for your tumbles!

I hurt my self esteem tonight as well Meldrew. Blimey, my driveway is slippy and this new fall of snow makes it worse!!! There's ice underneath it.

Does anyone know where i can buy padded tarmac!!!!!

You must be psychic Fez.

This morning I was driving down the road and a youngster (about 7 or 8) threw a snowball to which I reacted and braked on the icy surface. I got out of the car, asked him where he lived and as I turned to go and speak with his parents I slipped on my backside. The only injury I suffered was to my self esteem.

Yeah you're right Sparky but I'd love to see Meldrew skating down Victoria Rd and I bet a penny to a pound that he'd be wiping the snow off his backside at some point! Bet I'm right aren't I Meldrew?

NEVER COULD GET THE HANG OF ROLLER SKATES! :-(

Yes Fez - skates.

OH THE WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FREEZING!

Could we have a white Christmas? And if tempratures and road and underfoot conditions stay like this would you really want one? I may be a bit of a "stick in the mud" but you won't find me out there making snowmen but part of me would love to do it just for the hell of it. No while it's like this I intend going out as little as possible.

I have a pair of snow chains that clip on my shoes that are brilliant but have actually seen very little use over the years but judging by the underfoot conditions this morning when I went for my paper they may well get a run out in the very near future. My son gave me the chains, he was issued them when he worked for RoyalMail but the posties never used them.

Do you remember when we use to put a pair of old socks over our shoes to stop us slipping in icy conditions, as I remember it worked pretty well? If you have any tips for walking without slipping during thids cold spell please let us Know.

KEEP WARM. Fez

Christmas At Rock-Away Rest.

'Twas the night before Christmas at Rock-Away Rest,
and all of us seniors were looking our best.
Our glasses, how sparkly, our wrinkles, how merry;
Our punchbowl held prune juice plus three drops of sherry.

A bedsock was taped to each walker, in hope
That Santa would bring us soft candy and soap.
We surely were lucky to be there with friends,
Secure in this residence and in our Depends.

Our grandkids had sent us some Christmasy crafts,
Like angels in snowsuits and penguins on rafts.
The dental assistant had borrowed our teeth,
And from them she'd crafted a holiday wreath.

The bed pans, so shiny, all stood in a row,
Reflecting our candle's magnificent glow.
Our supper so festive -- the joy wouldn't stop --
Was creamy warm oatmeal with sprinkles on top.

Our salad was Jell-O, so jiggly and great,
Then puree of fruitcake was spooned on each plate.
The social director then had us play games,
Like "Where Are You Living?" and "What Are Your Names?"

Old Grandfather Looper was feeling his oats,
Proclaiming that reindeer were nothing but goats.
Our resident wand'rer was tied to her chair,
In hopes that at bedtime she still would be there.

Security lights on the new fallen snow
Made outdoors seem noon to the old folks below.
Then out on the porch there arose quite a clatter
(But we are so deaf that it just didn't matter).

A strange little fellow flew in through the door,
Then tripped on the sill and fell flat on the floor.
'Twas just our director, all togged out in red.
He jiggled and chuckled and patted each head.

We knew from the way that he strutted and jived
Our social- security checks had arrived.
We sang -- how we sang -- in our monotone croak,
Till the clock? tinkled out its soft eight-p.m. stroke.

And soon we were snuggling deep in our beds.
While nurses distributed nocturnal meds.
And so ends our Christmas at Rock-Away Rest.
'fore long you'll be with us, We wish you the best!

If you like something spooky there are two great films on TV tonight. Firstly there is the now classic Exorcist on 5 at 10pm and there is The Sixth Sense on 3 at 10.35pm.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If you think our council is a bit out of touch with the ice rink how about this for council stupidity:-

Villagers of Sacriston, County Durham, have blasted their local council for putting up a weedy 4-foot Christmas tree, calling it a 'disgrace' and 'an insult'.

The paltry pine is dwarfed by its decorations tower.

"This tree is an insult to the people of Sacriston,"  one-time parish council chairman John Meek told The Mirror. "It's a disgrace. The council are saying it will grow, but that's an insult to our intelligence – the growing tip has gone."

"It's more like a bush," added one local who preferred to remain anonymous.

The fact that the lights were turned on by former Only Fools and Horses actor John Challis and ex-soap star James Baxter – while dressed as Captain Hook and Peter Pan, who they are playing in the local panto – only served to add to the absurd comedy of it all.

"It looks like something which would be sold by Del Boy," grumbled another local.

But parish councilor Allan Turner was bullish, saying: "The tree will grow and will be there for many years to come. Many villagers are enthusiastic about it."

If this PINK ice rink is so popular with the people of Salford why doesn't the Salford Council build a municipal ice rink for the people of Salford to use all the year round. They are always saying how well they look after the people of Salford. At least then it would provide a regular income, and there would be no need to wreck the tax payers paid for gardens every year with a temporary structure at the expense of the established (once upon a time) gardens.

Iwonder how many old, disabled and poverty stricken people of Salford will actually use the PINK rink that they are paying for out of their council taxes?

IF QUIZZES ARE QUIZZICAL WHAT ARE TESTS?

So you are not a fan of the ice rink Surferboy? Anyway for those who may be more interested here's a bit of detail. i notice they have sol 1.150 tickets for the opening.

Get your skates on for ice rink opening

Kathryn Ryan
December 02, 2009

THE ice rink in front of Salford Town Hall will open to the public on Friday, December 4.

A special first night show will start at 4.30pm with Salford-born tenor Jon Christos performing several songs and a synchronised ice skating group will also perform. Around 1,150 tickets have been pre-booked, the most ever since the rink has been running. The rink will run until Wednesday, January 6 and will be open on Boxing Day, New Year's Eve and Christmas Eve.

Councillor Barry Warner, Salford City Council's lead member for culture and sport, said: "I'm really pleased there's such a buzz about the ice rink this year after we spread the message far and wide.

I see the council are at it again throwing away tax payers money. First the annual slush funding of the Xmas ice rink and now they are going to losing hundreds of thousands by knocking down the former Langworthy Hotel after finding they can't find a buyer.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead! Drivers please think about it.

I remember being at my primary school for a nightime jumble sale with my mum when somebody announced it.

 Even at such a young age I knew who he was because TV at that time was always showing him such had been his impact been on the World since being made President. He was like a pop star.

Itwas a terrible day and in some ways i remember it but can't think of what i wasdoing at the time. There has been much worst days in my life when i have lost family members but kennedy still sticks out.

What were you doing on this day in 1963?

 1963: 'Stunned into silence' by JFK's death

Thousands of people had turned out on a sunny autumn day to cheer their President on his visit to Dallas, Texas.

But 22 November 1963 was destined to become one of the most infamous days in modern history, when two bullets from an assassin's rifle hit President John F Kennedy in the head and throat. He died 35 minutes later.

The prime suspect was 24-year-old Lee Harvey Oswald, who was arrested within hours of the shooting, but was himself murdered two days later.

Since then almost every aspect of the assassination has been disputed - it is not even clear how many shots were fired - but there is one thing most people are certain of; where they were when they heard the President was dead

You do not learn that you may live- you live that you may learn. John Ruskin.

I WENT TO SCHOOL TO BECOME A WIT, ONLY GOT HALFWAY THROUGH!

Oh if we could all find a friend like that.

A three-month-old Macaque monkey rides on the back of a temple dog called Tan, inside Tung Luang Buddhist temple in Thailand's Chiang Mai province.

The orphaned baby monkey has been adopted by Buddhist monks after its mother was shot dead by a hunter.

Tan has befriended it and even shares his food with the orphan.

All together now: aaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Too much warering in the cartoon below surferboy.

Another tip on the Xmas cactus is to just take the chill off the tap water before watering, not warm mind.

Be careful with the watering, not too much and keep it in a place where the temperature and light doesn't change.

AND YOU SOMETIMES THINK YOU ARE HAVING A BAD DAY!

Surfer, on your bit about it being very mild for the time of year my Xmas cactus agrees with you, it has never had so many buds on it,if they don't all fall I should get a great display.

For the poor girl who had her nose broken by a stuck up footballer with no morals. If he does do the full 18 months lets hope no club will ever take him on again.

THUG footballer Marlon King was jailed yesterday for punching a young woman - costing him a contract worth £1million.

Premier League Wigan Athletic immediately sacked the powerfully built 29-year-old striker - who it was revealed has a history of violence against women.

A court had heard Jamaican international King, who was drinking in a nightclub to celebrate his wife's third pregnancy, made repeated advances to women.

But he was knocked back several times and lost his temper with a student who objected to him groping her.

He floored her with a single clenched-fist punch, which shattered her nose and sent two other people flying.

After the verdict, it was revealed that King, who was accompanied to court by wife Julie, a former Miss Zambia, had a criminal record dating back to when he was 17.

It includes dishonesty, drink driving and violence - solely directed against women.

He chased two women through Soho with a belt wrapped round his fist in 2003.

And in 2006, he was convicted of threatening behaviour after slapping another woman on her bottom and head and then spitting at her when police arrived.

It's so warm today my fridge is defrosting at a rate of knots like in the middle of the Summer!

FROM ANDREW GRIMES IN THE EVENING NEWS.

NOBODY is worth £150,000 a week, but that does not mean that nobody is commercially entitled to it. Football players and pop stars, who collect that sort of money are merely picking up their rightful share of a limitless treasury amassed for them from the voluntary contributions of adoring paupers

 Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

 Children will not remember you for the material things you provided but for the feeling that you cherished them.

Oh if only some parents realised this! Fez

IT WAS ALL SO DIFFERENT BEFORE EVERYTHING CHANGED!

Strange, I was watching a documentary about Keith Floyd on Channel4 last night and then when I woke up this morning I heard he'd died of a heart attack overnight.

I always remember the time he cooked an ostrich egg omelette surround by the birds in the middle of a field then they all stated pecking at him and he and cameraman had to run.

 ON THIS DAY IN 1982!

Princess Grace of Monaco has died of the injuries she sustained in a car crash near Monte Carlo yesterday.

The Hollywood actress Grace Kelly - who starred in the Alfred Hitchcock hits Dial M for Murder and Rear Window - suffered a brain haemorrhage.

A statement issued by the royal palace said she died at 2130 GMT after her conditioned worsened throughout the morning and become irreversible by the afternoon.

It also said the former film star's husband, Monaco's head of state Prince Rainier, and her three children were at her bedside when she died.

Over the years this family seems to have endured much bad luck!

Keep trying Willow - it was on my 759th attempt that I succeeded. I only ever tried to stop for one day then used that day as encouragement for the next day and so on.

Hi Surferboy. Sorry if I seem a pain.

I was watching an episode of Minder this week and Arthur daley got hypnotised when he didn't know it. He couuldn't figure out every time he lit his cigar it tasted like "Burnt rubber." He was going aroung asking everyone if there was a fire somewhere. Hilarious.

>Here's a clip from >"Minder."

Hi surferboy. I am working on it. Hate to say this but I have tried  hypnotists twice. again without success. The first one said some really silly things like imagining I was getting them from a dirty rubbish filled bucket. All I thought was silly devil and went out, got in my car and lit another. I begin to think I'm incurable but rather hope I am not.  Another time I went to one for my weight because I thought if I got rid of that first, I could cope with the cigs but she wouldn't do my weight and kept insisting I got the cigs out of the way first. I came out of there very annoyed with her. I have tried patches, lozenges and artificial cigs, but all to no avail. I as I said, I have not given up winning again and this time making it permanent. I am very annoyed with myself for wasting the money for one thing  I would rather spend it taking my grandkids somewhere special.I just wish my world were not so stressful and I am trying to get rid of that. Wish me luck.

I saw one of my old cashiers on Bolton flea market Sunday. She'd be about your age now. She smoked heavily up to her 50's but then went to see a hypnotist in Blackpool and that was it cured so it can be done.

Hi Surferboy. I went to the first one and told them where they were going wrong. Trust me. Only one out of the group stopped smoking but she started again and now won't have anything to do with any of us.(Mind you that was the first time she stopped. She'll get used to it). I wouldn't like to think how many times I have stopped. I still see the others from the group. I did tell them that as non-smokers they had no idea of the situation. Were they so naive as to think that smokers don't know all the methods, all the heallthy eating, meditation, exercise etc. Of couse we do, but when things go wrong they do not replace youor ciggy. When I had my heart op  I stopped for 9 months but something happened which put me right back to square one. The good thing is, the cigs I smoke these days only have i mg. Tar and lmg. Nicotine. The Doc says the only place they will hurt is my pocket and she is right. My chest is much better. I think a smoking group run by a stopped serious smoker might work. Someone who understands. Like the leaders of most dieting groups who have to be reformed fatties. That might work but not a group run by a health fanatic with 'superior knowledge' and most of them are sooo young. I must say however, they were a very nice crowd and I have joined other groups with them, even keeping in touch with one who has left. I would really like to stop but haven't found the answer yet. Perhaps a stressfree world.

I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.

It's never too late Willow. Salford PCT are running a Stop Smoking Support Group starting October 16th, 2 to 3pm at the Westwood Community Centre, Westwood Park. Grassmere Crescent, Eccles and it runs for 6 weeks.

It's free to all people living in Eccles, Barton and Winton.

 Hilaire Belloc said in 1910, "When you have lost your Inns, drown your empty selves, for you will have lost the last of England".

It is easier to get older than to get wiser.

SOME OF THOSE QUESTIONS KIDS ASK:-

• . WHY DON'T ALL FISH DIE WHEN LIGHTNING HITS THE SEA?


•  HOW MUCH DOES THE SKY WEIGH?


• WHY CAN'T PEOPLE LEAVE OTHER PEOPLE ALONE?


•  WHY AREN'T BIRDS ELECTROCUTED ON WIRES?


•  WHAT IS TIME?


•  WHY IS THE MOON SOMETIMES OUT IN THE DAY, TOO?


•  WHY DID GOD LET MY KITTEN DIE?


•  WHY IS WATER WET?

Trouble is we never really know the right answers or at least I don't how about you? What's the most difficult or funny question a kid has ever asked you?

Lescott has a contract with Everton which can only be torn up with the agreement of ALL parties. Why would Lescott want to join a club which finished several places below Everton in the League last season. If he is only going for the money maybe City are better off without him.

Dragging on you mentioned elsewhere just like this...

DAVID Moyes today rejected a written transfer request from Joleon Lescott - and reaffirmed his intention that the defender is not for sale.

Lescott is currently away in Holland with the England squad for tommorow night’s friendly but that did not stop him informing Moyes in writing today of his desire to move to Manchester City.

However, as was the case last Monday when Lescott verbally informed Moyes of his desire to leave the Blues, the manager’s response was just as emphatic.

Moyes has effectively now ended any lingering hopes City had of signing the 27-year-old in a £20m deal and re-emphasised Lescott’s importance to the Everton squad.

Why keep a player who wants to move?

"In the 60's people took acid to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it look normal"

Is it really 50 years today that Cliff Richard had his first No1 with "Livin' Doll."

>Click here to MOVE IT!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying

Man's commonest fault is not knowing what he doesn't know.

Here's an Email one of our readers sent to me. It's very long but worthy of reading.

Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and itsdedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to theplate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball  the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!